REMEMBER…JAYDEN CHRISTOPHER
Wisdom is vindicated by her children
~Matthew 11:20
I’d like to say that Kathy and I had a more dramatic story as to how we named our son. We’d like to say that we did our research as to what his name truly meant and represented. In reality, we named him after the famous child actor, Jaden Smith, upon spotting his name atop a billboard for the movie The Karate Kid while on a date at the Irvine Spectrum (Kathy had said that “Christopher” went well as a complement to “Jayden,” hence his middle name). But the morning after he was born, I did some research concerning the actual meaning of his name – using the Greek and Hebrew language skills that I had learned from seminary a few years back. After some careful study (I had to, due to the number of phony websites that google provides for name searches), I turned my seat around to look at Kathy – reclined on the hospital bed – and said rather proudly:
“If you put his first and middle name together, it means, ‘He will vindicate the one who bears Christ.”
I’ve learned, since then, that his name serves as God’s reminder to me daily to trust in His ways amidst the criticism that I’ve had to face over the years. I anticipated and accepted the reality that upon investing my life into the direction of pastoral ministry, I’d receive criticism from all points of the spectrum of relationships – family, friends, Christians, non-Christians. So I prepared myself for such, and my preparation was not done in vain. Upon revealing my decision to enroll in seminary, I was criticized by some for wasting my life and being youthfully whimsical. When I decided to commit to commuting from San Diego to L.A. for classes, I was criticized for being irresponsible in caring for my body, my education, and my time. When I first began to serve as a youth pastor, there were those who questioned why, during our Bible studies, I allotted more time to the teaching and less time to games and activities. When Kathy and I were dating, I was criticized for my lack of affection for her due to the physical boundaries I had set to protect our purity. When we decided to postpone our wedding for the second time, I was criticized for caring too much about the church. When we decided to finally get married apart from her parents’ approval, I was criticized for dishonoring her parents and setting a bad example for those who were watching me. When we decided to move to San Jose to take part in the church-plant effort, I was told that I was criticized for being unwise. When we decided that I would fly back and forth from San Jose to L.A. to finish up my last semester, I was criticized for being irresponsible in caring for my family. Some have criticized me for committing to a disciplined eating and exercise schedule (which I did for the sake of ministry), while others have been more critical about the fact that I chose to commit to reading my Greek and Hebrew Bible consistently so as to not lose the skills I learned in seminary. Then there were those who criticized me for investing my life into discipling the number of young men that I did, saying that the fact that I met up with guys individually would set me up for a frustrating marriage. Many have simply come to the conclusion that I’m this rash, impulsive kid who makes really unorthodox decisions that in the end aren’t wise or practical.
I realize that, no matter where you go, there are always going to be those who will be critical of your lifestyle, your decisions, your methodologies, and your ministry. Jesus was absolutely aware of that, when He walked our planet as a humble man. Wherever He went, there followed His critics – the Pharisees and the religious establishment – who scrutinizing every and anything that He did. They had criticized His older cousin and forerunner, John the Baptist, for being on one end of the social spectrum, while they criticized Him for apparently being on the other end. Jesus knew that both He as the Son of God and John as His forerunner had lived their lives in a manner that honored the Father, and that they had unjustly received the kind of criticism that they had. Yet, Jesus understood the reality of the presence of such criticism, and did not lose sleep over it. Instead, He simply said: “Wisdom is vindicated by her children” (Matthew 11:20). In other words, for those who have truly sought to live in the ways of God, their wisdom will be proven by the outcome of their lives.
I realize that wisdom will prove itself over time by the fruit that she produces in the lives of those who walk in her ways. I realize this both principally as well as experientially. I’m not saying that I’m perfect – all know that I am far from such and never pretend to be perfect. Yet, I can honestly say that, when it comes to all of the major life decisions and spiritual convictions and disciplines, ever since I stepped into full-time ministry, I have been controlled by a fear of the Lord. I don’t do what I do because I believe that it will further my reputation, make me stand out, or help me achieve some self-gratifying goal. Despite what my critics might say, I don’t do things rashly or impulsively. If anything, those who know me best have told me that I tend to overthink things and can be overly cautious. But that’s all because deep down in my heart, the fear of the Lord controls me. My greatest fear in life is making a decision or setting myself in a pattern of life that would dishonor His name and His gospel. On the flip side, my ambition in life is to be pleasing to God. I can honestly say that, though at times I have lacked experience and practice, I have always done what I have done out of an honest desire to be conformed to the Word of God and the wisdom of God. Therefore, amidst all the criticism, I need not to defend myself. My life will do the talking. I know that, in my heart, I really have set all areas in life in a trajectory to honor Christ and not myself. And I believe that, up to this point at least, the fruit of my life has indeed proven that God has blessed it. People can argue with my methodologies and decisions, but they cannot argue with the outcome. That goes the same for any believer who encounters much criticism from all ends amidst trying to bring glory to God. Following Christ will always bring about criticism – both from believers and non-believers – but the fruit cannot be argued against. The Christian is not called to defend his wisdom with his words. Rather, he is to let his life do the talking.
Jimmy Evert, the father and coach of the famous tennis champion Chris Evert, was once asked about what he thought about the style with which his daughter played. His daughter Chris had opted, as a young child, to hit her backhand with two hands instead of one – an unorthodox style back in the era in which she played. Jimmy questioned his daughter’s playing style…that is, until she proved herself with herself. Chris not only became one of the most decorated tennis players of all time, but it was her two-handed backhand that was her signature shot and most efficient weapon. After winning 154 titles, 18 grand slams, and holding the #1 ranking for over 250 weeks, Jimmy commented concerning his early criticism concerning his daughter’s opting to use the two-hander: “I hoped she’d change…But how can I argue with her success?”
Remember…”Jayden Christopher.”
